Jocelyn Lee in Ahorn

I’ve long been a fan of Jocelyn Lee— then I read this great interview with her in Ahorn Magazine and she perfectly nailed exactly where my head is at with some of the new photographic work I’m making (which includes nudes):

I think you can tell from all I’ve said that I’m driven by existential themes in my work—our bodies in space and time, our internal thoughts, our basic relationship to others, death, aging, sexuality, family etc—and it just seems that these issue can be addressed more honestly when people take their clothes off. That sounds strange, but taking our clothes off is a literal and metaphoric state of openness. It is hard to be naked in front of others. It is hard to be seen naked. It is brave in an essential way. The flaws we imagine are so much more visible when we are naked—and this goes for psychological flaws as well as physical. So nudity is important to me. Nakedness.

Read the rest of the article here.

Featured in the Huffington Post

My work was featured in the Huffington Post on Friday— such an honor!

Year of Work – Weeks 1-3

Since turning 30 I’ve stayed true to my goal to make at least one new thing a week. I know I’ll do more than that, but some of my ideas are big and will take a long time to execute so I’m sticking with the average of one a week. I’m going to try to start posting weekly or biweekly updates so you can see the work as I make it.

In the first 3 weeks:

1) I cast my face (pretty successfully) and my hand (not so successfully).

2) I started a very very long-term project that I don’t plan to show anyone for at least a year.

3) I made some collages— here are a few finished ones.

More coming soon.

I/Q Identity Queer at Simmons

When I went to speak with Zoe Perry-Wood at the artist talk for I/Q: Identity Queer at the Simmons School of Social Work, I wasn’t bowled over by the huge attendance (it was Thanksgiving week so attendance was sparse) but what did completely floor me was what I found on the bulletin board soliciting comments on the show.

A typed poem on a white piece of paper with hand-written words on top: “In response to photo #2 on the left” (my photo Birthday Girl).

Click this image if you’d like to enlarge it:

First, I was fascinated that the context of the work led someone to assume a trans narrative in the work—- funny enough but no one has ever told me about reading the work that way. Second, I don’t think I ever thought my work would inspire anyone to, completely unsolicited, spend the time and effort to write a poem.  I definitely didn’t expect that. I’m used to people liking the work or thinking it’s funny. So strange to feel like it has affected at least a few more deeply. I’m grateful to have an opportunity to do that.

Chicago – Part I

I spent this past weekend in Chicago to scope out Columbia College (I’ll write another post about this later) and to go to ACRE‘s Country Fair, their winter fundraising event.***

I went to the fundraiser with Jess Dugan, previous Bostonian and current Columbia College student.  We got to Wicker Park a little early so we met up with Jess’ friend at a little taco place/bar.  When I went to the bathroom this note was written on the stall:

ACRE’s event at Heaven Gallery was a really good time. It was full of friends from my ACRE session but also an awesome silent auction, a cornucopia eating contest, fresh-baked apple donuts, bands, and more.  I should mention there was a western theme, hence my ridiculous shirt and tie below.

One of the best parts of the night was the portrait drawing booth. I was lucky enough to have my portrait drawn by Betsy Odom, as did Jess.

Here we are with our portraits:

And here’s mine a little closer up:

Before the end of the night Jess and I took a photo as a bear and a… scarf-wearing person of some sort.  Below us is a singing turtle and some singing mice, I think.  Love it.

While I was in Chicago I also caught the current show at the Museum of Contemporary Photography, which included some Angela Strassheim prints I was psyched to finally see in person, and Christian Patterson’s work, among others.  One room had photographs from the collection of the Chicago History Museum’s Chicago Daily News archive, and I loved this one so much that I had to take a snap of it on my iphone.  She’s a police officer and clearly a total badass.

Finally, I wanted to mention that I was delighted to randomly catch the CTA Holiday Train.  It was so nice to see commuters who were seconds before grumpy or tired and staring off into the distance for their train light up with excitement, get out their phones and cameras, and crane to see a train covered in lights and cartoon figures.  My train across the way arrived at the exact same time so I barely got these two shots on my iphone before I had to hop on my departing train.

***Some of these photos were taken by Jess T. Dugan. Thanks, Jess!

Casting My Face

I just finished my last casting and mold making class last night and for my final project we set about making a mold of and casting my face.  Some of my classmates were gracious enough to take pictures so I have a play by play to share with you.

I lubed my face up with vaseline and some other special mold release for skin/faces, got up on the table and prepared to be covered in Acrobat alginate.

This is Bevan Weissman, our instructor, covering me in goo.

On top of the alginate layer went a ton of plaster gauze squares that I cut out beforehand.

Then, released!  I have a little video of the demolding process but I’ll spare you.  Here is my mold!

Doesn’t it creep you out how the negative looks like a positive? It’s like a haunted house painting.

Positive and negative, side by side.

Filled with plastic. We were going to do a soft rubber but I decided to do the plastic instead so that I could sand and machine this and then make a new negative out of it at some point.

Here’s the positive, still dirty and weird and nostril-less. I guess I have to take a machining class now?

The Big Three Oh

I am about to turn 30.  Tomorrow actually.  This in and of itself doesn’t really bother me or stress me out much, but it does provide a sort of arbitrary marker wherein I stop and examine my life (even more than I usually do).

I am going to start several new ventures in the new year: big things, things that will get me out into the world and put me in unfamiliar territory.  I can’t post about some of them yet but I promise there will be real things to see and hear before you know it.

Three things I can talk about:

1) I am setting a goal to produce at least one new thing a week until I’m 31.  This can be one photographic image that I’m happy with, a collage, or something more involved like a short film or sculpture or installation.  At first I thought that one a week might not be ambitious enough, but at least 52 new pieces will be made in the next year, and that’s a lot!

2) I am also setting a goal to produce one artist book/zine a month for the next year as well.  These will be short-run limited edition books and I’ll be figuring out some way to offer them for sale.  Stay tuned!

3) Speaking of books, the production of Other People’s Clothes in book form is in the works… more information on that in 2012.

A couple other things:

- I’m moving from a studio I rarely use to a new one closer to home, sharing the space with friend and collaborator Robyn Giragosian.

- I’ll begin teaching as a part of New England School of Photography’s full-time program this coming January.

Here’s to being 30!

 

Addendum

To continue on my thoughts from last week, a quote from an interview with David Simonton over at Two Way Lens:

“The one vital action I would recommend you consider, then, is to strive for excellence, not “success.” That, and (wait for it) be patient. It’s a difficult thing to do these days, but nonetheless it’s important. Here’s a helpful way to think about it: Patience is the suspension of expectations.”

I think my definition of success IS excellence and then perhaps failure is never achieving excellence— not so much some momentary misstep but a larger failure to ever reach what is possible.  And yes, that’s a silly fear and the key is to be patient and have fun and make.  Those are the “shoulds” I’m working on but sometimes it seems easier said than done.

 

The “Expert” Problem***

The other day I read a great blog post called “Zen and the Art of Making” on the MAKE blog, which put into words some things I’d been thinking about with respect to why I seem to have a love/hate/confused relationship with photography these days.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much fun it is when you’re a beginner at something as opposed to being an “expert.” [...] I really want to avoid being an expert in some things, only so I can continually look forward to learning more without the overhead of being an expert. Being an expert means your journey is somewhat over.”

This is something that is never discussed in school— what to do when the excitement of technical mastery has faded and the hard, barely-discernable slope of simply working kicks in.  I know this is the time when people are supposed to put themselves in unfamiliar situations or use a different camera or format, but for me it doesn’t feel like enough doing this alone.

“Beginners need to practice a lot; experts need to talk more than practice usually.”

I’ve put myself in the position of talking much more than practicing, since for work I teach and tutor and assist.  This doesn’t help the situation.  I feel the pressure of being expected to know and none of the excitement or magic of not knowing.

“Beginners can celebrate failure while experts rarely admit it. For a beginner, all the obstacles, failures, and challenges are the path ahead. Beginners usually do not have any fear; they just make things — maybe it doesn’t work out, maybe it does — but they don’t have the same risk aversion experts tend to have.”

As anyone who has read this blog previously would know, I am a little obsessed with thinking about the idea of failure, even though I couldn’t for the life of me define what failure would really mean to me.  What I do know is that I do feel fear and feel stuck, even bored, with some of the photography I’ve been working on and need to do something or I really will fail because I’ll stop making altogether.

“Sure, when you’ve mastered something it’s valuable, but then part of your journey is over — you’ve arrived, and the trick is to find something you’ll always have a sense of wonder about.”

This is where my head is at.  I’m trying to spend my time doing the things that give me that sense of wonder, that make me excited.  I love learning and so I’m taking classes in things I’ve always wondered about but have never pursued.  Right now I’m taking a molding and casting class and loving every minute of it.  I have no idea where these new skills will take me but it’s wonderful to just get excited about the idea of making without envisioning how it should fit into my career.

“Beginners can take more risks than experts — they start with zero, so there’s nothing to lose.”

And so that is what I am trying to do, to carve out space for myself where I can take risks and lose and be a beginner.  The downside of success is that there is a pressure for continued success and the risks feel scarier because you aren’t starting at zero.  For now I am trying to concentrate on following what excites me and trusting myself/not second-guessing myself too much.  If I believe that I have the ability to make something other people will get excited about then I have to trust that it will happen as long as I keep following what makes me excited.

This is my pictorial representation of wonder:

***I’d like to clarify that I by no means think of myself as an expert and would never use that word to describe myself, but rather that the feelings the author explains feel relevant to me at this point in my life.

The Five Obstructions

The other day I finally got around to seeing The Five Obstructions, a Danish film by Lars von Trier and Jørgen Leth.  Here’s a quick synopsis from Wikipedia: “The premise is that Lars von Trier has created a challenge for his friend and mentor, Jørgen Leth, another filmmaker. Von Trier’s favourite film is Leth’s The Perfect Human (1967). Von Trier gives Leth the task of remaking The Perfect Human five times, each time with a different ‘obstruction’ (or obstacle) given by von Trier.” The goal was to push Leth out of his comfort zone, to make him consider other ways of working and to stop him from falling into familiar patterns or modes of making work. It might also have been to push him to make bad work, to see that failure is ok and even perhaps worthwhile.

I love this idea and would be interested in having someone else issue me this type of challenge.  What would my obstructions/challenges be?  Any list I could think up for myself wouldn’t truly be pushing my limits, but a few things I can think of would be:

- Photograph only strangers who you approach on the street
- Photograph people without their permission or knowledge
- Photograph somewhere where it is forbidden/where you could be yelled at or arrested
- Make art out of only new/unused materials
- Do not plan/think about what you will do beforehand and/or execute some sort of work in a very short timeframe
- Work only in a medium you have never worked in before
- Make work about a topic that you don’t know very much about
- Make work that you believe to be unethical

What else?  These don’t seem to nearly push me far enough, push me to breaking.  I’m curious about what my unconscious boundaries are.

Battle Art: Painful Memories

Remember this post I made in 2008?  I think it’s time to bring back the battle.

Nate Hill’s Death Bear:

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex’s clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

vs.

Jason Lazarus’ Too Hard to Keep:

I have started an archive of photographs deemed “too hard to keep.”

Submissions may include photos of friends, family, pets, places/objects too hard to view again, etc.

The reason you can’t live with the photo or photo album I do not need to know…

I am creating a repository for these images so that they may exist without being destroyed.

What do you think?  Follow each link to read more about the projects and get back to me.  I’m interested in your thoughts.

New England Photography Biennial 2011

The opening reception for the 2011 New England Photography Biennial (juried by George Slade) was on Saturday at the Danforth Museum of Art and I went to check out what work (besides mine) was in the show.

Here is someone scoping out my two prints from Odd One Out.

Some of my favorite pieces were by Zoe Perry-Wood.  I’m totally jealous of these stunning portraits of youth at the BAGLY prom.  I’m not sure when a full gallery will be up but check her website when you can since I know it’s forthcoming.

Here’s a blurry picture of Zoe and I in front of my prints:

I’ll be giving a gallery talk at the Danforth sometime in November— I’ll keep you all posted about the date and time for that.

Also, here’s a review of the show in The Metro.

A Decade of Photography in the Aftermath of 9/11 curated by Ruben Natal-San Miguel

Ruben Natal-San Miguel, a fantastic photographer and a positive force in my artistic career, curated and organized this slideshow and saw fit to include me in it. It was shown on Monday Sept 12 at the Greenwich House Music School and included photographers I really admire.  I am really grateful to be included.

Here is his statement about the show and below that, the slideshow itself.

“As a survivor of attacks on Sept 11, 2001 and now a photographer, curator and an influential figure among fine art photography community, I want to celebrate life, commemorate the 10-year anniversary and showcase how photography, as an art media and derivative works, have changed the face of America and the World.”

“It is a demonstration of how our life, a worldly vision manifested through the use of the photographer’s lens and accompanied by all the technological advances, has evolved since right after 9/11 until today. It will reflect the new sensibilities in this art medium, created by the war, the economy and the advances in the technological landscapes. The exhibition will also highlight some of the most iconic images over the past decade. These photography images over the last 10-years will be on exhibition display via the World Wide Web as a unique virtual gallery and as a special slide/musical presentation to be held at the historical Greenwich House Music School. Let the healing begin!”

A Decade of Photography in the Aftermath of 9/11 from Raymond Adams on Vimeo.